Fiddle-de-dee

"Fiddle-de-dee!"  That's what I thought about Gone With the Wind by page 926.  I mentally checked out from the saga very quickly, and prematurely.  From page 926, it's all predictable and miserable, and I decided not to indulge myself in the misery any more.  The only thing I couldn't figure out was what could happen to Bonnie.  After a quick google search, I thought the author took the cheap way out by killing Bonnie off.  Come on.  Margaret must have been bound and determined to see Scarlett miserable at the end of her story.  Ugh!  My opinion about the whole book in general....Amazing writing, a wonderful historical setting, moving and even edifying, fantastic character development, but very poor character selection.  Come on Margaret Mitchell, how many antagonists can one book contain?   
After thinking a lot about this book, loosing sleep over this book, and even seething over my husband at times (forgetting I was really Rachel and not Ms. Scarlett), I found myself grasping for what truth I knew that could sustain me and give me answers to my questions as to how people can become so selfish and stupid.  How grateful I was when my personal cannon, the scriptures, came to my mind as I thought of the scripture from James 1:22, which state, "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves."  To me, this was the overarching theme of the book, and it applies to all the main characters.    
Scarlett was slick with numbers and self-gratification, but when it came to understanding people and society in general, she was repulsive.  Scarlett did not enjoy reading or learning, and was never exposed to greatness other than her own mother.  Scarlett knew her mother stood for many great and admirable things and wanted so badly to be so much like her.  Scarlett's hang up was that she never really listened to her - she mostly cared to touch her and smell her.  One credit I must give Scarlett was that she was a doer, but the only thing she ever let herself hear was the vanity of the world, and so her actions became very worldly.  Poor Scarlett, who never slowed down enough to let herself think, especially to think about her mother.  To me, that was her greatest downfall.  She became a great hypocrite, deceiving everyone, including herself.
Ashley gives me fits, because he was very well educated, he read lots and loved the art of thinking.  I'm sure he was very knowledgeable of many stories of heroes and heroines, the great leaders of all ages, the deepest and greatest thinkers of history, and the Shakespeare tragedies that lead to utter despair.  Yet despite all this, he fails to let his knowledge inspire him!  Yes, he fought bravely in the war, but he sells himself short despite all he has been given and taught.  I wanted to holler, "Carry your banner!"  "Rally for your strength!" "Hold your virtue!", but he fails and brings misery to himself and his family.  What a tragedy.  He was solely a hearer of the word, and failed to do anything.
Then there's Rhett....he was a hearer and a doer of the words he chose to hear.  He was very well educated and chose to follow the path of the antagonists - the life of a land-locked pirate.  It isn't until the 11th hours that he hearkens to the call of virtue and quickly tries to change courses.  This walking in between two worlds eventually weakens his character and he sells his readers short at the end of the book, when he leaves Scarlett.  I was forever frustrated at his lack of communication with Scarlett, his non-thinking wife.  She was too silly to communicate well, but he was always thorough with the art of communicating when he wanted to be.  Why he didn't follow through with this characteristic is beyond me.   
Then there's Melanie, along with Careen, Ellen, and even Will Benteen, who are steadfast because they were hearers and doers of the word.  Melanie especially, truly hears people and listens to the teachings from good books.  She lets them settle in her heart, and she becomes loyal to those people and teachings and does not falter in nourishing them.  Ahh, to be like Melanie, so naive and happy.
I've come away from this book wondering how my "education" is treating me.  Am I an active participant in the hearing and the doing as well?  From this book, I have heard my heart tell me certain things...to be loyal, loving, and trustworthy; to be forgiving; and to focus on the future and not indulge in what could have been.  I hope I will forever be engaged in the doing of these things.

Women are like dogs....

Hmmm.... I've thought a lot about this phrase someone once told me.  I was talking to someone over a decade ago and he mentioned how women were like dogs, in that they often prefer unkind beaus.  At first I was insulted, but then I had to give him a little credit.  Sometimes it is true.
I have been reading Gone With the Wind the past few weeks and I'm at a point in the book where I am steaming mad at Scarlett (which I'll address later) and find myself defending the rouge Rhett Butler, and I find myself questioning, "Am I lowering myself to 'dog' status?"  I'm trying to figure out what it is about the character Rhett that draws my heart to him.  Obviously, his good looks, strength, self-assurance, smile, grace, and stylish clothes help!  But then I think of his low morals and utter selfishness, and his lesser sin of tactlessness, I wonder, "Am I drawn to him because I can overlook this ugliness in his, or because it's exciting to revel in a little wickedness?"  So, this is what I've come to...I'm not drawn to his wicked ways, and I am quite repelled by them.  BUT a lady likes to be pleasing to the eye to her male counterparts (may I even dare say, sexy), and it is always the unhallowed eye that appreciates the good looks and shape of a woman, which look Rhett so often gives.  It may cause us women some discomfort, but deep down, we feel smug and desireable. (By the way, I am not talking about a look of slimy vulgarity.)  It's not the sin that's attractive, but perhaps it's the result of the sin.  It sounds scandalous, but it may be just so for many women.  Hence, I guess I'm saying, if this book were real life, I would find myself intriguingly wagging my tail at this abasing character.
Then I have to wonder, if women are like dogs because they are drawn to somewhat filthy men,  what does that make all the men that are always drawn to Scarlett?  So here is my simile for men...Men are like worms.  Yes, they enjoy their muddy homes, but after a good rain, when the soil is most comfortable, they are drawn blindly towards the sun.  They think the sun's rays will feel so good, and they become irresistibly allured, so they follow the warmth of this great sun, only to find themselves shriveled and writhing in the road when everything is said and done.  Yes, men are like worms that are drawn to self-serving, manipulating, vindictive women, when they can't see past a pair of fine eyes and a twisted smile.
After thinking about all this, I've decided it would just be nice and comfortable if males and females were simply honest, loyal, and respectful towards one another, and then things wouldn't have to be so confusing, and none of us would ever abase ourselves to acting like dogs or worms.  Ahh, yes, those would be the days.  How glad I am to be removed from the true world of dating and to have myself a man who is all of those things - honest, loyal, and respectful (as well as strong, confident, good-looking, and a great smile to boot).  In many ways, my life is simple and enduring and full of love.  How I am grateful.   
I'm sure when I'm done reading this book, there will be more thoughts and final words.  I will be sure to keep you posted.

Excelsior!

Several months ago Peter came across the poem Excelsior, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  He fell in love with it, and frankly, so did I.  We were inspired by the word Excelsior, it meaning to climb higher, onward, and up-going.  It's been my montra these past months.  I was really proud of Peter when he decided to memorize it.  I recorded him, so you can be just as proud too (okay, at least a little proud:)).

My Hope and Faith

Well, I have a confession to make.  I had the longest lasting crush from Junior High through High School, and even into college.  Many of you know this youth crush of mine, as Ben Thomas.  Ben moved when I was still in Junior High (and we went to different schools, so I really didn't know him all that well, but he sure was cute!), so it was the perfect, safe set-up.  As the years went by, and little crushes came and went, Ben stayed faithful in my mind.  No, we didn't keep in touch, it was very much a one-sided crush.  When all other boys ended up being jerks, I was sure Ben was better than them all, and it gave me hope.  It was much to my surprise, when I was walking to church during my first week of college in a different state, to look to my side, and who should be walking by me, to the same place, but Ben!  Of all the coincidences, this was too much!  I was so shocked, I completely ignored him.  Through the years, I guess this person became superhuman to me, and I couldn't let myself get to know him well because I was afraid my dreams and hopes of him would be crushed.  I can imagine that I must have been rude, even mean at times, and offensive which I will forever regret.  Obviously, the years have gone by and I have found myself a wonderful man, and am very happily married with wonderful children.  I'm giving all this background info because last night, my youth dreams of this superhuman boy were crushed.  I guess Ben is human, just like the rest of us, and subject to life's challenges and illnesses as well.  He was on abc during a fundraiser for muscular diseases.  Ben has lou gahrigs disease, and isn't expected to live to see his daughter grow up.  My heart hurts for him and his family and my prayers go out for them.
I guess this was especially hard because I'm dealing with something even closer to home.  A few months ago my younger sister was diagnosed with brain cancer.  She was 32 weeks pregnant when they found a rather large tumor in her head that was causing her seizures.  Three weeks later she had a beautiful baby boy, who is doing very well, and had brain surgery.  Only 10 days after, she began radiation and chemo.  It has been a hard road for her and her family, but she is doing it!  She is my hero as I've watched her be so gracious, loving and kind during a time that is so hard.  She just recently finished her treatments Friday.  Becky is amazing. 
Through these past couple months I have come to understand what the plan of salvation is all about and how to apply Christ's atonement a little better.  I remember telling my mom when I was young, "It isn't fair!" and Mom always replying, "Life isn't fair."  I don't know why things aren't more fair and more predictable, I only know that's not what this life is about.  This life is about love, and when things that seem like they should be constant fail us, love can shine through and bring us peace. 
I also know that motherhood and fatherhood are eternal callings, and death doesn't put an end to those callings when we are sealed together in the temple as an eternal family.  When death takes a loved one, they can still be with us on the other side of the veil and help us.  Death is every bit as much of a miracle as life. 
As I have struggled these past months I have felt angels helping me along and comforting me, and I know I am not alone.  I know my Grandmas, Grandpas, Great Aunts and Uncles are tending to their posterity and are there for me when I need them.  God has shown me his love so many times by sending me angels, both those who have passed on as well as neighbors and friends.  My husband has been another one of those angels.  Forgiving me quicker than I deserve when I get angry, helping extra with our children while I visit my sister, and being my constant support.  I have seen so many of God's tender mercies, and I know that this life is bigger than death.  I have come to cherish time with my family and children more.  I am realizing that this life isn't about a long to-do list, but about loving and serving those around me.  
I love my sister and I know Heavenly Father loves my sister, just as he loves all his children, and He is taking care of each of us in his many different way.  There are angels watching out for her, both in the spirit and in the flesh.  I am forever grateful for the temple and eternal families.  These truths have given me strength and peace and I am grateful for the knowledge I have of them.  This is my hope and my faith.

Ultimate Spring Highlight

Okay, so I've been waiting to post  "The Ultimate Spring Highlight" until one of my sisters did, so that I could steal their pictures, seeing as I'm a major mooch and have no pictures of my own to share.
Back in April, my sister, Michelle, graduated with her masters in speech pathology.  I am so proud of her because she worked SO hard and endured SO long.  Life after schooling is so different, and wonderful.  There is no other stress in life that replaces that of taking a written test during a set time, of being weighed and measured, proving yourself, and stretching your mind to learn new things in a way you've never thought before.  It's a great life lesson, and a great one to move on from as well.  Good job Michelle!!! 
So, for a graduation gift, my sisters met up with my parents and we all surprised her (one sister had to fly in from out of state, the greatest surprise).  Surprised, she was, and fun we had!  Some great friends and a wonderful hubby helped watch my kids so that I could do this.  I owe them a huge thanks!  It was fun to be with my sisters, but I must say, when we all get together, I feel like the biggest party pooper.  I was the first to fall asleep every night, and lacked the ability (aka, know-how) to play with my phone, so I wasn't in on their bakery games and what-not.  Oh well, they're good to roll with me any ways.  My mom was great - she came with 2 pounds of yummy chocolates for late night chats and relaxing in the hotel room. 
After all the graduating festivities, my sister found a sitter for all the kiddos (I brought Anna with me), and we all went to the temple together.  This was a highlight of a lifetime.  The temple is a special place, because it's a place of reflection and peace, where one can feel close to others who may have passed on.  It is a place where we do ordinances (such as baptism) for those who have died before receiving the opportunity to do so.  This was especially memorable because my dad worked really hard and brought some family names for us to do, including my Grandma Elsie (my daughter's namesake).  What a neat experience it was.  I felt a lot of closure and connectedness, that I never thought possible.  It's a feeling that has stayed with me, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity.
Thanks Michelle, Mom, and Dad for all your hard work and providing an opportunity for us all to get together!  It was great.

  If I can mooch any more pictures, I will be sure to do so! 

Renaissance Fair

 Mike and I took the kiddos to a Renaissance Fair this Friday.  We watched some great amateur jousting and ladies dancing on trotting horses.  We also saw some great costumes (some wore less costume and more skin than others), ate some great food, and learned lots about the time period.  My kids all loved it and wore themselves out.  Mike and I agreed it was an interesting experience that attracted some really interesting people.
Elsie LOVED the opportunity to dress up.  She wanted to be a fairy, and I'll have to admit, I thought she was the cutest little sprite hopping around at the grounds.  Kimball dressed up as a knight, and Peter as a pirate.  Even I found a Renaissance dress from my mother-in-law's Halloween closet and joined in the festivities.  It was great.  Here are some pictures.  
 
We took lots of pictures of our favorite "jouster" (is that a word?).  There was another guy who was dressed in chain mail and had the whole regalia.  Impressive!

3rd Times a charm!

Well, Spring has Sprung!  With it is Elsie's apparent favorite fashion accessory.  Okay, not really.  A couple weeks ago Elsie jumped off the bunk bed and broke her arm.  I was pretty quick to catch that it was broken this time, because I'd seen it when she was 2 1/2, and 18 months old.  It's been the same break every time - cracking her ulnus because of the way she tries to catch herself when she falls.  Elsie is very tiny for her age, and it must be hard to have such a bursting spirit in such a tiny body.  She has some big ideas of her physical stamina and forgets about her small build.  Anyhow, she's taken to her cast quickly, and running around just the same as always.  It's been super hot, though, and she's shed a few tears that she can't go running in the sprinklers with the neighbors.
When we came home from the doctor, I asked her if I could take a picture.  This is how she posed....