Thoughts on Perfectionism

I came across this article today from the Ensign while I was home from church with sick kids.  It was an article about overcoming perfectionism.  This vice is somehow revered, especially among women, nowadays.  I came to understand the problem with perfectionism when I was reading a book called A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, and how debilitating and detrimental to one's progression it could be.  If I could graph my triumph over being a perfectionist,  it would be directly correlated to the increase in our family.  The anecdote for me has largely contributed to the number of children we have had.  

The article I read explained how understanding the atonement of Jesus Christ can help one overcome perfectionism, and that only through the grace of Christ can one be made perfect.  It is so easy for me to be overtaken by business:  kids need to be fed, the house needs to be cleaned, diapers need to be changed, goals and deadlines need to be met, and service needs to be rendered.  These are all necessary things, but the part in the article that caught my attention was this:  "For those who feel physically or emotionally exhausted, start getting regular sleep and rest, and make time to eat and relax.  Recognize that being busy is not the same as being worthy and being worthy does not require perfection."  What a great reminder that was for me.  

So, if anyone happens to come over and see my somewhat messy house, a child running around half dressed, or paper plates in the garbage, know I am not striving for perfection.  Instead, I am striving for an increase in love and patience by increasing my devotion to God.  As Elder Gong (the author of the article) explained, "Impatience impedes faith."  I loved that quote because I pray for patience almost every day.  I need increased faith that as I put my trust in God, and do the things the Lord inspires me to do, that a balanced life which emulates my Savior will ensue.

Our pet crow and other small moments

Last week Anna had a wellness check doctor's appointment.  Mike said he would meet me at the clinic and take the rest of the kids (we don't all fit into those little office rooms anymore) during the appointment.  Anna got examined and her shots all done, and then we waited for Mike to come back and pick us up.  When he did arrive, the van was bubbling with excitement, and there was a box Elsie was holding that was making noise.  They explained to me they had caught a crow (in its juvenile stage).  Mike said we needed to go to the second-hand store and find a cage to keep it.  I thought it was hilarious as we went trooping into the store, noisy box and all, and found the perfect cage for $4.  It was a fun week as we learned all about crows from observation.  Here are the things we learned:
- they don't like cats or baths
- they are very messy eaters
- they'll eat cat food
- they love raspberries (who doesn't?)!
- they will also eat fish and cut-up hot dogs
- when they are feeling threatened, they first caw a lot, and then they bite
- They are social animals, when one crow begins to caw, there are many others that respond for about 10 minutes after the initial caw.
After a week of crow-sitting, we decided to take the Wild Kratts' advice, and let it go "free and living in the wild!"  I am very grateful for the Kratt brothers' good influence, most definitely. When we let it go, the kids all had to say their last good-byes by holding it.  During the process, the crow also said it's good-bye by biting each of them. Poor Kimball got bitten right on the nose!  He was very brave, but understandably a bit traumatized.  We got a picture right before it happened.

Below are a couple cute pictures I thought family might enjoy seeing. 

Anna enjoying a taste of Nutella!

Tis the season for.....Birthdays!

Birthday#1:
It all began on May 26th at around 5:30, when our dear Adam was born.  It was Memorial Day, and our family had just finished putting in a new, big sandbox.  Mike was cleaning out the neighbor's truck he had hauled the sand in when I told him I thought it was about time to go to the hospital.  Adam's labor was awesome.  I felt like the pregnant mom from the movie Big Business (for any of you as old as me and remember the film), when she tells her husband, "It's time again," in her country accent with somewhere around 10 other children swarming at her feet.  She then goes to the hospital and simply and quietly has her baby.  That clip had a familiar ring to it as I was in the hospital during labor, all until it came to the delivery at least.  So, Adam was born weighing 7 lbs. 9 oz and 19 inches long.  He was born with lots of hair and a set of good lungs.

Daddy giving him his first bath

Elsie did her own hair.

A few days later, I was home alone with the kids and Kimball decided we should make a cake for Adam's birthday.  It sounded like a fun thing to do with my younger kids at the time, so we had a bit of a birthday party that evening with the family.
These past 7 weeks Adam has proven to be a bundle of contentment and sweetness.  He loves to be held and snuggled really tight and close.  It's absolutely wonderful until I need to set him down to do something, which happens often with 4 other children buzzing around me.  However, Adam seems to have found a good niche in our family and we are all settling in quite nicely.  I've enjoyed a post entiteled "The Baby is the Lesson" which has inspired me with an extra dose of patience.  It's always chaos around our home, but the chaos is filled with love and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Birthday #2
Anna's birthday was on June 20th, and she turned two.  For her birthday, she got to move into Elsie's bedroom and sleep in a toddler bed.  Elsie was really excited to share her room.  Partly so she could play the role of "big sister" more fully, and also because that meant she got to sleep on the top of a bunk bed Mike built for the girls.  Elsie really has been a great older sister and has watched out for and helped Anna as she has adjusted to a new bed.

  Elsie is reading her bedtime stories

Anna also got other fun gifts, like new sippy cups and sheets for her bed.  She was so excited just to open a present, it didn't quite matter what was in it.  She also had a bunch of fun playing "duck, duck goose" with the family.  It was so funny watching her go around the circle saying, "guck, guck, GUCK" and run off, ready to be chased.

Anna has really grown-up a lot since Adam was born, and I feel kind of bad for all the changes that have been inflicted upon her.  Within a 3 weeks time, she got a new brother, kicked out of her room and crib, got her tongue clipped by the dentist (that was not fun!), and got her binki taken away from her.  The poor little girl has done remarkable with everything, besides the little clepto she's become with her baby brother's binki, and has been the sweetest big sister to Adam.  She gives him kisses and loves and watches out for him all the time, and then she takes his binki and runs off before she gets caught.  It's pretty cute.  Since she got her tongue clipped, she's started to talk more and more.  It's fun to listen to her express herself.
Anna is lots of fun.  She loves music and dancing.  Whenever there is any form of singing or music playing, she is dancing in circles, begging me to watch her performance.  She also loves candy.  When she's not asking for candy, she's asking for more and more spoonfuls of peanut butter.  She loves the stuff, straight from the jar!  Anna is very playful, independent, and loves to be helpful.  When it's time to go, she runs around the house, handing everyone their shoes.  She loves to take Adam's diapers to the garbage, and to help clean up.  She has been a joy these past 2 years, and I can't wait to continue watching her grow up and develop into the person she is meant to be.

Birthday #3
Peter turned 9 on July 3rd.  Someone told me he was half-way to "adulthood", and it kind of scared me.  How is it that little boys and girls grow up despite our mistakes and desires for second chances so we can slow down, enjoy the moments, yell less, and teach more.  As a mother, I sure try hard to do everything right, but it's impossible to do it all perfectly.  I never know if I'm expecting too much, or too little.
Peter had a great birthday - watching our city's firework show with extended family and cousins.  He loves fireworks and was ready to forfeit his cake and ice cream in order to insure a good spot for the fireworks.  Mike and I told him there was plenty of time and to enjoy his day.  For his birthday I was inspired by this article that explains what is going on in an 9-year-old's life, and so we decided to celebrate his individuality.  We got him some gloves and a hand-trowel for him to connect with his surroundings more.  I painted (yes, I....painted) a Calvin and Hobbes mural on his wall, since he has really shown a great interest in the comics.  I'm still not sure what Mike thought about the whole thing, but Peter has loved it.

The kids loved watching Peter's worm "fireworks"

A week later he had a friend party, which he did much of the planning for.  He wanted to roast hotdogs over a fire with watermelon and homemade root beer.  Then he wanted to play some night games and light off fireworks.  I got a big old pack of fireworks, way too many boxes of pop-its and glow-in-the dark necklaces, and let the boys (and 1 girl) go for it.  I had so much fun watching them play Ollie-on-over and no-bears-are-out-tonight, hang out while they ate their self-cooked dinner, and jump around while the fireworks went off.  Lucky for us, one of the boys' dads came while we were putting off the fireworks and took some great pictures of all the action.

This is a picture of the kids playing with their glow sticks with a 3 or 5 second shutter speed

Peter sure is a joy in our family.  He is a great older brother, and has a keen sense of his responsibilities.  He is very honest and intuitive to people's feelings.  He is a good friend and a friend to all.  I am proud of how hard he tries to make good choices.  Currently he is loving reading the Guardians of Ga'hoole series and bargain shopping (like his dad!).  He just started learning tennis, and has a real knack for trying out a wide variety of things.  I love being his mom!

To be a Lion.

I know there are plenty of other things to write about that many are eager to read, but another time, another day.  Right now I want to talk about lions.
I was just reading a children's book about elephants and found out they eat 20 hours a day.  "Whoa," I thought, "Wouldn't that be nice!"  Then I thought about lions, who sleep for 20 hours a day, and I wondered which one I would rather do; and if I had to pick, would I choose to be a lion or an elephant?
Being an elephant first sounded appealing.  Then I started thinking about food, especially elephant food.  I don't think I would like to eat acacia leaves and bark for 20 hours out of every day.  Then I thought if I could be an elephant and still eat human food, would that change things for me?  Hmmm.  I decided food is a love/hate relationship for many of us.  First off, it costs.  There's always the grocery store bill looming over me, especially when I splurge on indulgent food.  Then there are all the food choices that get tricky:  would I spend my time eating really healthy food or junk food, or some kind of ratio of both?  What even is healthy food any more?  Solely organic (yikes, that could be pricy eating 20 hours every day!)?  Vegan or at least hormone free?  Maybe a gluten free diet?  How about a raw food diet?  Who knows.  Maybe it would be simpler just to stick to an elephant diet and eat leaves and bark all day after all.  Obviously, it didn't take me long to revert to my old desires of wanting to be a lion.
I decided lions have the good life all in all.  Heck, male lions don't even have to hunt for their food; the ladies take care of that.  Maybe if I had to be an elephant, I'd outsource all the food decision making, just like the male lion does with the hunting.  However, it was the sleep that really appealed to me.  Sleep is precious; it requires nothing but a relaxed body.  One doesn't have to over-think when it comes to sleeping and lounging.  In fact, over-thinking can really be a problem when it comes time to sleep.  Since lions are on top of the food chain, there is nothing that could bother a good slumber - no intruding fear or worry.  Oh, to be a lion:  to not have to worry, to eat what's given you, and to sleep and lie about most of the day.  That's what I'd sign up for.
If anyone happening to read this would like to share their thoughts on what animal they'd like to be, please do share. I'd love a new perspective on this one.