Mother or Commander? Ender Wiggin and I

From the time I was little, I have had a vivid imagination.  Although my childhood imagination has morphed as I've grown-up, it still manifests itself strongly when I read a fictional book.  I get caught-up into the stories I read and take on the subject's emotions and themes extensively.  When I read a sad book, I cry for days, if a character is hurt, I loose sleep over worry, or if the main character overcomes, I feel conqueror over my life as well.  Hence, reading fiction is somewhat exhausting for me and usually I just stick with non-fiction genres.  However, lately I have been reading Ender's Game and I feel so inclined to share my thoughts on the parallels I am drawing from Ender's character.
As a mother, there are ways in which I feel very connected to Ender as a commander in his war games at school.  First, some background:  Ender is a 9-year-old boy who becomes commander over a group of 50 in some serious school games.  The teachers at his school are continually bombarding him with rule changes, promotions, and other children he must get along with.  In response, Ender rises to the occasion.  Although he rises, he is often overwhlemed, excited, or even depressed with his circumstances.  He finds himself continually changing his strategies, trying to stay ahead of his opponents and the game.  To him, loosing is not an option.  This is where my feelings as a mother begin to parallel this prodigy of a character.
As a mother, my game is constantly changing.  There are no consistant rules and regulations, handbooks or texts to follow.  Just as Ender studied other commanders around him and battles of the past from those with experience, I observe keenly the tactics and ideas of mothers around me and those who have gone before.  I also pray to receive personal guidance on decisions.  No matter what, though, no situation lasts for too long, and regulations change.  Children grow-up, new problems arise, more children are born, jobs change, the economy changes, friends and mentors move and change.  Ender and I are continually pushed into new and harder challenges we are unsure how to overcome.  Change sometimes seems the only constant.
However, overcome we must, because loosing is not an option.  No matter what, I must stay connected with my children, never letting my role as "mother" slip.  I must teach them tirelessly, just as Ender with his army, how to overcome their opponents in life.  Just as Ender, this requires hard work, long days, extra practice, and more studying.  At times, it feels lonely and even depressing.  No one has walked this exact path of mothering these children of mine, and it takes much prayer, thought, and meditation.  As things turn, and battles are overcome and conquered, there are times motherhood can be very exhilarating and exciting.  I find myself thinking, just as Ender, "I love this game!"
Yes, motherhood involves finding new tactics and strategies in an ever-changing world in an ever-changing household.  It is always work, but for one reason and another, I love this role.  I love the pay-offs, and I love my children.  I "win" whenever my children run up and give me  hugs, when they make good choices, when they are kind to others, show responsibility, serve others, and develop their talents.  Watching them grow is the wonder of all wonders, and I am glad to be "commander", alongside my husband, and given the opportunity to help guide them in this game called life.

1st Tooth!

The day finally came - Peter lost his first tooth last Monday.  He was soooo excited.  Apparently, all of his friends, and everybody in his first grade class had lost a tooth already.  You can imagine how excited he was when his finally came out.  I'll admit, the whole process is gross, and I couldn't understand how I ever thought loosing teeth was exciting when I was a girl.  For some reason, these benchmarks of growing up, no matter how disturbing, are rather exciting when we are young.  I've posted the pictures.  Please take note of the blood marks on his cheek and pajamas.  It was so gruesome and exciting all at once!
He was also very excited when the tooth fairy came during the night.  She left a new circulating gold dollar and a dime.  I keep telling Peter that I think the tooth fairy left the dime so he could still pay his tithing without breaking-up his gold dollar.  He's not buying it.  I think the tooth-fairy may need to leave a note next time of her intentions.  Any how, those coins haven't left his side all week, and he's shown them to everyone.  It's pretty cute.

Pokey Little Puppy Flower Garden

Elsie gets to pick her hairstyles Monday thru Saturday.  On Sunday, I get to decide on the hair style.  It's a fairly good system, and so far it's made everyone happy.  However, it does mean that sometimes Elsie gets some pretty out-of-the-box ideas, and according to our agreement, I must follow through.  On some days she brings up all the hair bows and flowers she can find and tells me she wants a flower garden.  Sometimes I'm even luck enough to put in Pokey Little Puppies along with the flowers.  If any of you aren't aware of the children's book titled, The Pokey Little Puppy, I highly recommend you read it.  It's a children's classic.  It's about a dog with a short, squat tail.  I think the dog's tail reminds Elsie of the pony-tail style where the hair isn't pulled all the way through.  On this particular day, about a week ago, I was privileged enough to put in 8 "pokey little puppies" with flowers.  She loves it.  Elsie definitely has her own ideas and ways of doing things, and frankly, I kind of appreciate her own originality and uniqueness.

Our Ballerina

We have a neighbor that, before she had children, was a professional ballerina.  She has been so great to give some very low-key lessons to interested neighborhood girls.  Elsie has LOVED them.  I was just asking Mike why we bother buying Elsie clothes, because 80% of the time she is dressed in one of her leotards.  I'm not sure which she likes more - the outfits, or the actual dance.  Here is our little diva.

Messes

Here is a little insight to what my days consist of:

Every morning these two stinkers run around and terrorize the house.  In the above picture, they are 'cooking'.  Apparently they made some tasty stuff.  Let me make this clear, this is no exceptional morning.  This is routine.  They are quiet and non assuming, going about forming piles here, dumping and filling baskets up there, and having a blast.  That's what is so hard about being upset.  They are so busy pretending and having fun, that I don't have the heart to stop them (sometimes).  
So here's my question - are my children without bounds?  Are they out of control?  Do I encourage enough structure in my home?  Otherwise, why would this sort of chaos be so appealing to them?  I wouldn't mind an honest opinion.

More Birthdays

As February and March rolled around, others of us in the family got a year older as well.  The ages will remain anonymous, however.  The day before my birthday I was out late at a meeting.  I came home tired, but as I walked in the door, I smelled something wonderful.  Mike was so sweet and made me my favorite flavor of cake - chocolate, double layers and all!  The sacrifice was especially appreciated because of his somewhat limited experience at baking.  He thought he needed 2 cake mixes if he were doing a 2 layered cake.  I can see how it can be confusing.  Mike cleaned the oven and everything.  I speak the honest truth though, when I say it was one of the best cakes I've ever had!!!  Thanks sweetheart!

Mike also had a birthday.  His cake was much simpler, but a family favorite of his growing up.  It's called lemon punch cake.  I love my mother-in-law for keeping family recipes and traditions fairly simple and practical.  It's been a great blessing!  We had no idea what to get him for his birthday, so we picked out a bunch of fishing lures.  The kids were really excited about giving them to him, but I think we picked out the wrong kinds.  I hope Mike knows how much we love and appreciate him, even though his birthday was a bit lame.  Mike is wonderful, hardworking, thoughtful, and very giving.  He is a jack of all trades, and can fix anything.  He never ceases to amaze me.  Mike is also very patient and kind towards other people.  I think that's why he's so good for me, because I require a lot of patients at times.  He is always eager to do the right thing.  I love him and know how lucky I am!!!!

Catch-up post - Elsie's Birthday

Elsie's birthday was clear in January, but I'm feeling motivated to catch everyone up on our not-so-eventful, but very busy lives.  Elsie turned 4, and as many of you can guess, she wanted a princess birthday party.  I made felt crowns for each of her friends she invited, and we played fun little princess games.  It was a lot of fun!  Here are some pictures:

  

Yes, these girls are all Elsie's age, or there about.  What she lacks in height, you can see she makes up in spirit!  They had a blast dressing-up in our accumulated 2nd hand costumes.  

 

The picture above left needs a caption to explain that the funny figured cake  is an interpretation of a pink castle.  I was a bit tired and 3 or 4 months pregnant at the time, so I simplified as much as Elsie would let me.  She was quite excited about this cake, and that is what matters!

That evening we got together with another family and grandparents and had a small family party.  It's pretty cute, every year Elsie wants to invite my dear friend Stephanie to her birthday party with all her other friends.  Stephanie is so good to give Elsie her undivided attention for a time whenever she comes over.  Elsie loves it!  She had a fun birthday, and got lots of princess accessories to keep her going for a while.  The below picture goes out to all those moms who work so hard making their children's birthdays special.  It is a lot of fun and rewarding, but also very exhausting! Happy Birthday Elsie!!!